the challenge every man faces...the fight every man can win From the television to the Internet, print media to videos, men are constantly faced with the assault of sensual images. It is impossible to avoid such temptations...but, thankfully, not impossible to rise above them. Shattering the perception that men are unable to control their thought lives and roving eyes, Every Man's Battle shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual purity-perfect for men who have fallen in the past, those who want to remain strong today, and all who want to overcome temptation in the future.Publishers Description
The challenge every man faces...the fight every man can win
From movies and television, to print media and the Internet, men are constantly faced with the assault of sensual images. It is impossible to avoid such temptations... but, thankfully, not impossible to confront them and gain victory over them
Millions have found "Every Man's Battle "the single greatest resource for overcoming the struggle and remaining strong in the face of temptation. With extensive updates for a new generation, this phenomenal bestseller shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual integrity.
Includes a comprehensive workbook and a special section for women, designed to help them understand and support the men they love.
Est. Packaging Dimensions: Length: 0.75" Width: 5" Height: 8"
Weight: 0.55 lbs.
Release Date Aug 18, 2009
Publisher WaterBrook Press
Availability 101 units.
Availability accurate as of Dec 16, 2017 05:51.
Usually ships within one to two business days from New Kensington, PA.
Orders shipping to an address other than a confirmed Credit Card / Paypal Billing address may incur and additional processing delay.
|1||Books > Subjects > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > Counseling [498 similar products]|
Reviews - What do our customers think?
|great book Jan 23, 2009|
|My husband is in the ministry and this book is a great resource - we have given it to other men that struggle in this area of their lives.|
|Good practical advice without Biblical insight Jan 17, 2009|
|EMB is filled with helpful practical advice for getting rid of adulterous behavior. For this I agree with Jack Hayford's review, "I welcome every contribution to the arsenal of resistance." However, the book is missing a basic understanding of the gospel, specifically, the book does not explain how to "put to death the deeds of the body" (Rom. 8:13) or how to achieve holiness and right standing before God. These are serious problems that unfortunately do more harm than good.|
EMB suggests a "Battle Plan" that includes three perimeters of defense:
* With your eyes (train your eyes to "bounce" from objects of lust)
Summarized on pg. 125
* With your mind (train your mind to take thoughts captive, that is, police lustful thoughts before they rise to consciousness)
Summarized on pg. 154
* With your heart (cherish, protect, honor your wife)
The first two "perimeters" are designed to "starve the attractions." This explains EMB's definition of sexual purity: "You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone or anything but your wife."
EMB is filled with common-sense advice, such as:
* Don't stare at female joggers
* Get an accountability partner
* Don't fantasize about old girlfriends
* If you call your buddy, but he's not home and his wife answers, get off the phone quickly.
This is all good, common sense advice. And these disciplines are effective in changing our behaviors and appetites. The problem: this advice can be followed by any non-Christian, which betrays the fact that none of this is Biblical yet. These disciplines do not kill sin, they only change our behaviors. Colossians 3:5 "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you." A biblical approach to sexual sin would explain not only how to change behavior, but how to go after the root of that behavior, our indwelling sin.
In contrast, the puritan John Owen, in his book Overcoming Sin and Temptation, says, "Be killing sin or sin will be killing you." Owen doesn't spend any time in his book on behavior changes. Instead, he explains how the "cross-work of Christ" (the gospel) and the Holy Spirit are all the tools we need for holiness.
Fundamental differences between EMB and Owen:
EMB defines sin as something that makes me feel bad, dirty, embarrassed. The assumption is that the feeling of guilt is bad, and this guilt can be overcome by disciplined right living. The Holy Spirit is seen as a force that makes the disciplines stick. Owen defines sin more biblically, as rebellion against a holy God. Powerful feelings of guilt are good because they lead us to the cross where we find serious, substantive help for killing sin.
EMB defines sin as something that can be overcome with disciplines, primarily "starving the eyes" and refusing to fantasize about women who are not my wife. Many other disciplines are recommended to bolster these good habits. The thinking is, If I'm not looking at porn, then I have overcome sin. Owen defines sin as the power of the flesh at war within us, which cannot be killed by a discipline. Only the cross-work of Christ and the Holy Spirit can kill it. For example, when I unplug a toaster, I've denied power to the toaster, but the power is still there. I haven't killed the power, I've simply denied it an opportunity (illustration, I think, from Kris Lundgaard). In regard to lust, if I simply "starve my eyes" as EMB teaches, then the sin of lust has not been killed; my indwelling sin will find another outlet. The reason is because sin is an evil power within me. Owen says, "[A Christian] never thinks his lust is dead because it is quiet, but labors still to give it new wounds, new blows every day" (pg. 77).
EMB defines purity as, stated negatively: not gawking at ladies' boobs, not thinking about adultery; stated positively: cherishing and honoring my wife. By this definition, any non-Christian can be pure. Any non-Christian can be self-disciplined so that he overcomes alcoholism, wife beating, depression - an unbeliever can change any action or thought process. But this is not the killing of sin that the Bible commands. Owen defines purity as holiness, which has more to do with my heart. EMB does not explain how to purify the heart, only how to discipline my behaviors. As such, EMB will give lust a good beating, but leave it alive within me.
EMB sees a changed lifestyle (in this case, a life of sexual purity) as worthy of God. The thinking goes, My sinful thoughts, words and deeds create distance in my relationship with God; if I can stop thinking, saying and doing these sinful things, God and I will be close. Owen considers himself a "poor, weak creature...as parched ground...deceived...lost...(pg. 132)." Owen never considers himself worthy, but he considers himself to be graciously loved. "He can take my drooping, dying soul and make me more than a conqueror."
For example, one of the EMB authors describes his experience of six weeks of "cold turkey" from indulging in sexual sights and thoughts (they say it takes about six weeks to get pure). Toward the end of these six weeks the author had a powerful sexual dream in which he chose purity. When he awoke (Sunday morning) he realized that this was a remarkable turning point in his life; his dreams had always been adulterous. The result: "I worshipped freely all service long for the first time....For someone who had felt such distance from God for so long, the feeling was glorious" (pg. 110).
This guy had cleaned himself up for God. His addiction to porn made him feel dirty. He got rid of the porn so that he didn't feel like a hypocrite anymore. He made himself worthy of God. Owen would call this "...a deep-rooted unacquaintedness with the power of God and mystery of the gospel" (pg. 59). "Mortification from a self-strength, carried on by ways of self-invention, unto the end of a self-righteousness, is the soul and substance of all false religion in the world."
In reality, there isn't any way to stand before God feeling sinless. But as sinners before a holy God we can feel forgiven because of what Jesus did on the cross in our place.
So - two main problems with EMB. The gospel is not used to kill sin, and the gospel is not used for purity. This creates the false idea that I've got to get myself cleaned up in order to "worship freely" and earn God's approval. The book is filled with helpful advice, but since this advice doesn't address the most central issues of overcoming sin and temptation, I would have to disagree with Hayford and suggest the book be avoided.
Instead, these books are practical and Biblical: The Pursuit of Holiness, The Enemy Within: Straight Talk About the Power and Defeat of Sin, Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave : Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel (Resources for Changing Lives), How People Change, or, if you have the patience to read an old classic, Overcoming Sin and Temptation.
|Every Man's Battle- Excellent! Jan 14, 2009|
|This book was a pleasure to read. It is strait forward and doesn't beat around the bush. It was recommended to me as part of a pre-marital counseling program. As I have progressed through the book, the author made a strong case for us to raise our standards of sexual purity to the standard found in God's Word. The author does not lower God's standard to make people feel better. He provides the physiological basis for why men often struggle as well as practical advice for how to live a life without a hint of sexual impurity. I would recommend this book to anyone, regardless if you believe you have a problem.|
|With this book, you may win the battle, but you'll probably lose the war Dec 6, 2008|
|When I first read "Every Man's Battle", I had struggled with lust for a long time, and I thought I'd finally found a book that would help. In fact, I initially thought it HAD helped. But the more I put its advice into practice, the worse things got.|
The title--"every man's battle"--is wrong. It doesn't have to be every man's battle, and there are many men who don't struggle with this issue at all. (Not that anyone is above temptation, but I can testify that true freedom can be found without having an epic war with yourself every day.)
I give this book two stars because I really appreciate how honest it is with many men's struggles. I think openness like this is needed if we are ever going to combat the problem of sexual impurity within the church. However, the methods this book recommends have many faulty presuppositions underlying them, and they will lead you astray.
One of the key verses in this book is Job 31:1--"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." From this, the authors recommend the technique of "bouncing the eyes". In other words, whenever you find yourself noticing a woman's breasts, bounce the eyes. If you notice her hips, bounce the eys. Of if you notice her pretty face, bounce the eyes! I went through this book in a men's group at church. Initially, all the men seemed to find this technique helpful. But after a while, it really didn't work in rooting out lust. It became a chore that you had to constantly be on the alert, and I think it generally led to a fear of women, that their attractiveness could bring you to your knees in the slightest moment of weakness. Job 31:1 doesn't say, "I made a covenant not to look at all at a girl," but "I made a covenant not to look LUSTFULLY at a girl." There's a big difference.
This book really fails to address the heart issue, and the beliefs behind those lustful looks. Oh, it emphasizes how bad lust and sexual impurity are. But it really doesn't offer any long-term solutions, aside from making you feel guilty about it. I finally found freedom in a little-known book entitled The Life That Wins by the Chinese evangelist, Watchman Nee. Rather than relying on your own works and eye-bouncing techniques, this book deals with sin as a whole--not just lust, but covetousness, envy, sinful anger, etc. God's solution to all sin is the cross. Negatively, the cross deals with sin, and positively, Christ is our righteousness. This book will take you through the steps to allow Christ to manifest Himself through you, so that "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Gal. 2:20). Then we know Christ as our righteousness (1 Cor. 1:30).
After I began to experience real freedom, I realized that the whole attitude toward women in "Every Man's Battle" is unbiblical and ultimately destructive. The world says, "Women are an object of lust--indulge!" "Every Man's Battle" says, "Women are an ojbect of lust--supress!" How about viewing women as something better? How about viewing them as being created in God's image, deserving honor and respect?
Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are *PURE*, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things." This book only teaches you NOT to meditate on the bad things, but it gives you nothing good to replace it with. I've realized that it's okay to notice a woman's breasts or her gentle hands or her beautiful smile. But look at them in purity. God created every woman and every part of her, and He declared that His creation was "very good" (Gen. 1:31). As Scripture says, meditate on this goodness. Eventually, you will see that ALL women are beautiful creations--not just the size 0 models with which the media bombards us.
I think most Christians define PURITY as "not lusting". Unfortunately, it's pretty difficult to meditate on that which is pure when it's a big negative. Thankfully, there is a positive aspect of purity--appreciating God's creation for the good thing it is. Look at all people as being "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psa. 139:14), appreciating them for who they are. If you want to make a covenant with your eyes, don't stop at "not looking lustfully", but go even further to look in absolute purity.
If you struggle with lust and sexual impurity (or any other sin), I highly recommend The Life That Wins. I also recommend dropping the works-based rituals in "Every Man's Battle" which will only bring you into bondage. Meditate on the goodness of God's creation, looking at all people with complete purity and holiness, and see if that doesn't bring you much greater freedom.
|Young to Old Oct 3, 2008|
|I read Every Young Man's Battle and I wanted to get a deeper perspective, so I read this book. I must say it is a deeper perspective and has an interesting way of showing how bad sexual behavior affects everyone around you.|
Sulia Mason III, Abubakarr
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